Changes

How long does it take you, to become the guy you hated to be? A Year? A coupla years? Half a lifetime? Take your pick. But don't you deny the fact, that sometimes, in your own comfortable, cozy, little world, you too have become a monster you Never, Ever thought you could become.

Lately, this thought has been haunting me. I have good enough reasons to believe, that slowly, yet surely, I am turning into the person, I had vowed not to become, as a child. And strangely, I feel helpless in stopping this juggernaut!

Today I was giving some gyaan to Deepti (Bose), about the need to verbalize things that bother us. This supposedly helps us sort them out. And well, if you are slightly "touched" in the head, like Yours Truly, you can actually look back after years, and laugh at all the things that bothered you, back in the day. So, I thought, well, why not talk about all the things that I have been thinking about lately, that have been making me miserable. Atleast, that way, if I ever discover the wisdom to learn from my past, I will have something to fall back on.

1. Stop bothering D about moving. I have put myself in her shoes, and honestly, I am surprised that she hasn't hit out at me, yet! I know, I would have. So, STOP. Things have fallen into place quite nicely, till now. No particular reason to believe that they won't, in the near future. By pushing her, I only increase the probability of alienating her, disillusioning her about a relatively big and important decision in her life.
2. Stop taking Madhudi and Pintuda for granted. This has been on the agenda for a while now, and to give some credit to myself, I think I have also succeeded, to a small extent. Just gotta carry on with the good work.
3. Start to extensively live, breathe, eat, drink, sleep CN! For a while, looking around for alternative day job opportunities had distracted me. And now, when I feel that my day has been incomplete and empty, I realize what I have been missing. The sooner I can get back to My Baby, the better it will be, for all concerned.
4. Stop worrying about things that are beyond my control. There has been some undue pressure from the latest employer, that has got me worried. Can't remember a time in the past, when I was so worried about such trivial things. So, why should I lose sleep over it now? No point in giving more importance to things, than they truly deserve. Have a Goal. Gotta keep moving towards it. Rest is all happenstance!

I guess, if I could work on these, for the next coupla weeks, I should be doing fine. And while I was writing this, I remembered, that a while back, I had written this, and it brought a smile to my face, to realize, that I have managed to mend most of those things, that were broken in my life, back then. There IS Hope yet. This too shall pass, am sure of that.