Thursday, June 18, 2009

Relief @ 3 Goddamn AM!

Usually, by 3AM on any given day, I am so far gone that the only thing that I can possibly do apart from work, is laugh hysterically (like here and here)! Its too much to expect RD to do much else at that God forsaken hour! However, last night was an exception. Last night, I felt relief. Well, yes. The dud that I am, things took a little time to hit home. But when they did, whoa! What a relief it was. Had me grinning ear to ear for no apparent reason, and I was so definitely not complaining!

I have always felt that the biggest flaw of startups is the inherent romanticism associated with them. And I dare say, at the same time, it is also their biggest draw! For that guy whose running low on confidence while chasing his dreams, desperately looking around for something to hold on to when things are looking really bad around him, its this romanticism of doing a startup that keeps him afloat! The idea of doing something that you want to do from the bottom of your heart, and not just because, can be an amazing upper! Add to that the rebellious angle to it all, and you have a feeling not very different from a RockNRoll band.

But that’s all very nice and good for the person who wants to do the startup. But for people around him, the same romanticism can be quite disillusioning. It might seem very cool initially, but as soon as the shine wears off, and the dust, sweat and grime of a startup begins to get apparent, the romanticism fades. And a lot of dynamics get affected and this in turn leads to inevitable disharmony.

So, last night when it finally hit me that some of the people in my life, who really matter, have crossed the mental barrier of looking only at the rosy side of the startup scene, there was a sudden sense of extreme relief. Lately my conscience has been eating at me. Call it the Roller Coaster ride if you will, but I felt guilty. For what exact reason, I don’t know. But there was this feeling that I was misleading people who were probably betting high on me. And their trust was something I didn’t want to break.

But now that little niggle at the back of my mind is gone. M, P and D, all understand how it could all end up in chaos, and if, inspite of this, they decide to bet on RD, I think its only fair that RD stops worrying about them, and works his back off, to ensure that things work out!

The Romanticism is dead and gone, Long live the evergreen Romanticism!