Sorry, Slip Of Tongue Sir

I am totally, completely, absolutely, undoubtedly, a water baby. I was born in the monsoon season, swimming is the only sport I love, I drink gallons of water a day. And yes, as a result of this, I end up going susu a million times a day! In fact, so deep is this bond, that I find my mind to be working at its best, when am in the men's room.

Today was turning out to be an ordinary day. Dead, dull, boring. As I walked down to the toilet, there was nothing to even bring a smile on my face. Monotonous life. Through which I wade in and out everyday like a zombie. Flashing fake smiles, asking fake questions, showing fake concern, at fake people. This was how I found myself, standing next to this very plain, non-descriptive guy, in one of the stalls.

Now, from my millions of seconds worth of experience, relieving myself in public toilets, I have concluded, that men have a tendency to do either of these two things, while answering to the call of nature. And they do so, with an alarmingly high probability.

(a) lean forward and spit on the stream of jet gushing out (is there a connection between our urinary and salivary glands, or what),

(b) scrunch up all their abdomen muscles, to squeeze out that last remaining drop of toxic water, out of their bodies.

Although both are equally repulsive, what tilts the scale in favour of the latter, is the problem with applying the squeeze in the right Direction. Get it wrong, and you end up in a slightly embarrassing scenario, of having to explain, why you are being so rude, so as to cause a serious emission problem, for people around you!

And that's exactly what happened to this guy, today. I was humming a Scorpions number, staring at this spider on the wall, thinking of happier times, creating false memories. And this guy, standing right next to me, in one of the stalls, suddenly ends up parting wind! For a second, there was silence. I thought I could feel this guy's embarrassment loom like a cloud over us (no pun intended)! The awkward silence was palpable. I stopped my humming. And then slowly turned to look at him.

An average Joe, having an average day, which just got a million times worse! Staring straight down, to avoid any kind of eye contact. Wishing like hell, that he could just disappear in thin air! And at this point, RD swooped down on his misery!

Gave him one of my pet, Koi Baat Nahin, Hota Hai, smiles. Told him, not to worry. We all have our bad days. Even made up a story, about how the same had happened to me once, and I got away with it, by excusing myself in front of those present, for a Slip Of Tongue!

By this time, he was pretty relieved. Was smiling, even. One of those hapless smiles, that I have seen countless times before. Poor fellow, didn't have much of a choice, but to nod on, and grin in agreement. So, I mused philosophically (for his benefit, the musing was done aloud), that life is nothing but a string of embarrassing incidents. And how we must, move on. Never stop, but keep on moving. He mumbled something, about how true it was.

Before walking away, patted his shoulder in a comradely fashion. Slight nodding of the head. Hint of a smile (actually, more like a well disguised smirk)! And turned to leave. I made sure that there was no way he could chase me (unless he wanted to run around with his fly undone), and as a parting shot, quipped that if he had to torment his fellow susu'waalahs, the least he could do, was watch what he eats! And ran the hell out of there, laughing my guts out!

Unfortunately, strategy forbade me to look back, and see the expression on his face!