Scared...

Must have had a bad, bad dream. Woke up with a start, and out of the blue, for no apparent reason, this song by Ark, was playing in my head. Checked the time. It was just a shade past three. And for the next half an hour, or so, could not get it out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. Especially, these couple of lines :

Aajker raate tumi onner hobe,
Bhaabtei jole chokh bhije jaaye.
Eto koshto keno bhalobashai, eto koshto keno bhalobashai...

Translated :
Tonight you will become someone else's,
And even thinking about this brings tears to my eyes.
Why is there so much of pain in love, why is there so much of pain in love...

Can't explain it, but since then, I can feel this little dark, gloomy corner in my heart. I wonder, how painful it must be, to so helplessly love someone, that you just can't stop. And yet, never ever have it in your destiny, to be with her.

Come to think of it, I guess I know how that feels. A long time back, rushed all the way back from Kolkata to Bangalore, just because the woman I wanted to be with, but was giving advice instead on being with another on New Year's Eve under the mistletoe, was starting to take my advice seriously! (Yeah, I know, I am messed up all right). I remember feeling anxious, helpless, disgusted with myself for being such a coward. But above all, I remember feeling very, very scared.