Conversations With My God

These are excerpts of the 3 odd hour long conversation with My God, while sitting, strolling, running in the rain, standing under the shade, leaning against the stairs of a building, in Koromangla. The original contained alot of Hindi, but that has been translated, to the best of my abilities, which frankly speaking, isn't much.

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God : Arrey Dada, meeting you after 2 years, what? (laughing)
RD : Yes Sir, absolutely. (touching his feet) How have you been?
God : Forget about me, is it the same thing bothering you again, like the last time we met?
RD : (Astonished) Errrr, no, not exactly. Shall we have some coffee?

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R : So, you must be wondering, how ungrateful of RD, to come bothering you, after being invisible for 2 odd years?
G : No.
R : No? (hint of amusement)
G : Arrey, I am a simple man, I don't complicate my life by over analyzing things that shouldn't be over analyzed.
R : But still?
G : No. You don't believe me, do you? Well, actually, I guessed what was bothering you.
R : No. No. Its nothing like that. Just a coupla things together, unpleasant things, things that I am not particularly good at handling. A little overwhelmed. That's all. Just wanted to talk to you. You know, how I have always loved being around you and the Dr.
G : (laughs) Yes. I know. But its ok, you take your time. I have the whole evening free. Want to take a stroll?
R : (Staring for a moment) Sure. I would love to.

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R : Can I ask you a personal question? You know, you don't really have to answer or something, if you don't want to. Really. Ummm, I wouldn't have asked you, and you know I wouldn't have, but...
G : (laughing) Dada, you haven't changed much.
R : No. I guess not. But I wish I had.
G : (patting my arm) Go on, ask. But I think, I know where this is going.
R : You do?
G : You want to ask me about how I handled my *******?
R : (smiling) I shouldn't have tried. You know me too well.
G : (laughs) Well, nothing like that. I was just trained for a lot of things, as a child.
R : Well, as in, how you handled it emotionally?
G : Lets go sit on that park bench. I hope you don't mind sitting on a park bench, in the evening, with a middle aged man, huh? (smiling)
R : For a chance to chat with you? I wouldn't mind wearing pink negligee and pole dancing, in the park!
G : (Laughing uncontrollably)

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G : Do you watch Republic Day, or Independence Day parades?
R : I used to, me and my dad. But not lately.
G : You should.
R : (looking up at the sky, kids playing around) Its so peaceful here. I can almost forget my worries.
G : You can do that, even in the middle of chaos. You don't need a park, and children playing around you.
R : No. I can't. Some of the stuff I can't. Anyways, why were you talking about the parades?
G : Have you seen them release doves on that day?
R : Not actually. But I know what you are talking about. I know they do it. Supposed to signify freedom, liberty and all.
G : There's something for you to learn from that.
R : What exactly?
G : Learn to Let Go, Dada. Learn to let things go.
R : (staring at my toes)

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G : You know, if you accept that everything around you is illusory, it won't be so difficult.
R : Then I might as well sit at home, and watch the grass grow na? Everything's illusory anyways.
G : (laughing) Won't that be nice? But I think you should do just that, if you can do it.
R : What do you mean, if you can do it?
G : My bet is, you won't be able to sit, and do nothing.
R : Ok. You win. Your point being?
G : Nothing. I am just stating some random facts to you (staring up at the sky, smiling)

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R : Damn! Its gonna start raining now. I think we should get some shade.
G : Yes. We should (getting up)
R : No wait. Wait. Wait. This rain is illusory, I am not really getting drenched, am I? Its all an illusion, right? Lets sit here, and enjoy the sunrise over the Himalayas. Let me change the illusion a little.
G : (laughing hard) Dada, you still have a strong reaction to denial. Come on, lets get some shade (pulling my arm)

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G : It takes a lot of courage to let go.
R : You gotta be joking. It takes courage to hang on, inspite of the odds. To believe that things will be alright, somehow, even when no one else thinks so. Not the other way round.
G : No. Your wrong. It takes courage, to really, sincerely believe that things will be ok, even after the worst low, and you don't need to hold on to fantasies to survive. It takes courage to face the truth. It takes courage to accept that something that is gone, is really gone. Gone for good. It takes courage to accept all this, and still move on.
R : Well, you do have a point, but I don't agree with you.
G : (laughing) But Dada, am not asking you to agree with me. Only asking you to believe me.

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G : If it was meant to be, it would have worked out, whether you'd tried or not. But if it isn't meant to be, no matter what you do, it wouldn't work out. The only thing you can then do, is move on.
R : You sound like Akshaye Khanna from DCH (smiling)
G : Really? That's a compliment.
R : But you know, its much easier said than done.
G : Well, its as easy as you want it to be. Try it.

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G : Have you ever wondered why I am so attached to all the girls, among my students?
R : (smiling) I think I once told you, that it is one thing we both have in common. Remember, I had dedicated a song to you? Elvis Presley - Girl Happy.
G : (laughing loudly) My God, no. You wanna know the real reason?
R : Yes. Sure.
G : (after a couple of moments of silence) Because they remind me of my sister.
R : Oh! Sorry, that was just a joke. How come you never mentioned your sister before?
G : Because she is dead. (continues)

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R : My God! I am so sorry. I am so, so, sorry. Sorry. Really Sorry. (stuttering) I mean, I really shouldn't have. Am sorry (holding his shoulder, ashamed of myself)
G : Arrey Dada, relax. Its ok. Not your fault. And I am not bothered, talking about her. I have no bitterness. No grief. What happened was destined to be. I have accepted that. Never let adversity get the better of you. Infact, you should use it, to help you become a better man, a stronger man. Not bitter and complaining. But stronger and forgiving.
R : (no words)
G : If I can overcome something that big, don't you think your problems are trivial in comparision?
R : (whisper) Yes.

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G : Stop complicating your life. It is simple. Keep it that way. Its better.
R : And I suppose you will tell me to become a Yogi?
G : Good God No. Why would I?
R : I don't know. All that stuff about letting go and all, doesn't sound like ordinary stuff.
G : Are you telling me you can't do something?
R : No, I am Not. I am only telling you, I don't wanna do something I don't believe in.
G : You don't believe it, or you don't want to believe it?
R : I don't believe it.
G : I think you are just making excuses, because you don't have the courage to do it.
R : You know, when I was a kid, my folks taught me well enough, not to fall for silly challenges. I am not falling for that. Not that stupid, you know.
G : (laughing) If you had been that stupid, I wouldn't have wasted so much time explaining things to you. Would have simply ordered you.

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R : I am RD. I can't blindly follow what someone else tells me to. Not even, if its my God.
G : I don't expect you to. You have a strong spirit.
R : (laughing) I wish you had used the word Attitude instead. Spirit sounds like something you'd use for a wild mustang!
G : (laughing) Shouldn't that be a compliment?
R : Maybe.

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R : A friend of mine and I are organizing a lunch at my school. Why don't you and the Dr. come over? It will be nice. My kids could do with an idol.
G : Sure. You just let me know when and where.
R : I will. And Thank you so very much for talking to me. I feel better.
G : You do? I thought we didn't agree on anything.
R : If we had, I would have been surprised (smiling)
G : (laughing) Ok. I hope the next time I meet you, you will be in a better state of mind.
R : (smiling) Me too.

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G : Dada! (shouting over the traffic, from the other side of the narrow road)
R : Just a moment, Sir (crossing the road, like a maniac)
G : Crossing the road like that, you just proved you are from Kolkata! (smiling)
R : Habbits of a misspent youth, I guess. (smiling)
G : Just wanted to tell you, remember this day and place. Someday, you will be standing right here, and telling me how stupid you were to worry about something so trivial. And we will both have a good laugh then.
R : (laughing uncontrollably) I already feel better and smarter!